Overall your story created an overall message that helped the audience follow from beginning to end. You helped create an insightful vision of what it was when you were with your grandfather, to your relationship building, and forming stronger overtime. It is very special to have such a strong memory to hold onto forever.
Some of the lines within the story that stood out to me was from the very beginning of setting us into the scene of where your story was taking place. Another special moment was the line "The simple act of choosing to spend time with someone can lead to great things down the road if one just takes the time to commit and be there for that person." This is relatable to a wide variety of your audience and helps tie the importance of your overall message.
Thank you for sharing the story that is personal to you and has shared your experiences through life that draws an overall meaning.