Deaf Defining Odds
Defining the odds can be daunting in a world filled with so much noise. When you think of noise, what do you think of it? Today it’s the voice I hear inside of my head. The one that tells me I’m different, not by choice, but by someone else’s action.
It feels like a constant state of disbelief, that one person’s mistake could change another one’s life forever. Never knowing his name, but always being part of the story. Overlooked and unsatisfied, as the aching pain feels deep inside with one cold drop and then another, and one more.
The “I’m sorry” becoming meaningless as I soon realized life as I’ve always known it has changed forever. It hurt knowing I’d be different from the rest. Never forgetting and finding it hard to forgive a piece of me being taken away.
You see I hear the world differently than you do. From one side actually, like a one-sided story. Lefty, righty, which one are you? I’m a lefty, but my right side is the best one. If you follow close behind or even side by side being on the right is always the way to go.
You’ll forget often, most do. But don’t worry I’m just like you. I’ll never remind you, and you will never think twice. Don’t feel bad, there’s no reason too. I wish I would have enjoyed the outside noise just a-little more, but that’s just my point of view.
Fifteen years of being normal. Many say being normal is boring. Why would you want to be that way? For the last six years, there’s been a new normal. The world I hear is much different than yours. You may never experience the anxiety of the invisible disability. Disability being the daunting term within itself. I will not be defined by those two words, “Invisible disability.”
You laugh, I giggle, and the world seems so simple. What makes it simple? Some may say the laughter we are surrounded by or silence that fills the air at night. I hear, think, and see differently than you do. But don’t we all? I was shaped by the life I was raised in. Shown to always be independent and strong no matter the obstacles that are thrown my way.
I may never experience the conversation, voice, or sounds from the left side. The whispers and mumbles may all be just a blur. But the sad thing is that you would never know unless I said the words. One step, one minute, one voice. We all want to be heard, and I wish I had the nerve to say these words.
You are not defined by your disability. It is not invisible even though it’s on the inside. You are not any less because the words “I couldn’t hear you” came out of your mouth. I am Kayla Warner and I will not be defined by the words “are you deaf” as they will forever be followed with a three-letter word YES.
